The “7 Questions” Technique, or How to Understand What You Want

Understanding what you really want in life is easier than it sounds. In this case, the “7 Questions” technique is one of the most helpful options. Here’s how this tool works. 

Three Values

Write down the three most important values in your life. If it’s difficult to articulate in one or two words, spell out the value in more detail. If you want to write more, don’t limit yourself even to three values, the list of options can be endless. By the way, you do not have to write any goals or deeds. It can be feelings that you desire (you need them, but can’t get them). It can be conditions in which you want to experience these feelings; it can be a process or a relationship. In short, describe what you want in any way you want.

Three Goals

Select and write down three important goals that you have in mind. We all have some specific goals: to find an interesting job, a life partner, to take a refresher course, to make an appointment with a psychologist to solve a long-standing issue, etc. These goals, on the one hand, do not allow us to live in peace, but on the other, they motivate us to some kind of movement. Write whatever comes to mind. And even if you come to the conclusion that these are the wrong goals or they don’t reflect your inner needs one hundred percent, don’t be upset. Being aware of your goals can help guide you.

Most Needed

If you had six months to live, what would you do? What would you do? Write it down. The question erases imposed goal stereotypes: “plant a tree,” “build a house,” “raise a son,” etc., removes fears and prejudices (time is short, there is no time to be afraid, you have to have time to do important things), helps you determine what is really important at the moment, what you like and brings satisfaction.


Imagine you have won $1,000 while trying football betting on real money. How will you use it? Write down your options. What is the point of the question? Many people work for money, because in most of us there is a stereotype “you can’t go anywhere without a certain amount” or “you have to earn more”. If someone achieves high earnings but still feels miserable, the stereotype we are talking about now is a limiting belief for such a person. That is, in reality you want one thing, but you’re doing something completely different because you’ve been indoctrinated to do it.


It relieves the tension and helps you to understand: What’s next? Now you’ve made money, and then what? What would you do if you could quit your job? What would you do if you didn’t have to do what you’re currently doing for a paycheck? By the way, the answers can be about more than just work. Often people tolerate others for the sake of an apartment, wealth, services, some other condition – in short, because of the material component.


What dream would you pursue if you were assured that it would be 100 percent realized, and that there would be no obstacles in the way? Write.


The question removes your doubts that something might go wrong. Why remove internal doubts? In most cases, internal barriers are stronger than external ones. This is how our distortion of how we perceive the world works. So it is therapeutic to remove the internal barriers artificially, in your imagination, to imagine that they no longer exist and that you will be able to reach your goal anyway.


What would you like to do, but you are afraid to do it? Write.


In any goal realization, a person is driven by fear and pleasure. And sometimes fear, like the instinct of self-preservation, literally paralyzes activity, not allowing you to make some important steps. It can be difficult for us to get out of the rut and start looking for a different path. And some are afraid of being judged by society, family or friends. Do you have anything like that in your life?

Sources of Inspiration

What activities fill you with energy? What inspires you so much that you forget all the bad stuff? Write it down. Also list the processes that make you happier than others. Why do we ask you to write about processes? Different people may experience different pleasures from the same activity.


For example, you’re not the only one who enjoys music. But some people enjoy composing it, others enjoy listening to it, others enjoy dancing, still others enjoy feeling a certain rhythm, still others enjoy listening to the sound of certain instruments, etc. And someone listens only to certain compositions, because they remind of pleasant moments. In general, a favorite activity can have many projections. Which activity and which process is yours exactly?

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